JL 



NO PLAYS EXCHANGED. 



Baker's Edition 
or Plt\ys 



635 

75 
/ 1 






AN 



ENGAGING POSITION. 




COPYHIGHT, 1889, BY WALTEH H. BAKER & CO- 



Uniformly Bound in Stiff Paper Covers, 
Price, 50 cents each. 



K3 -^fc' ^^ ^^' "^T "^ -^ "^ "^ ."^' ^^- "^- -^ '^ '^ '^ "^F- \^ •^F' % ^ % ^'^T % ^ 

|A. W. PSNERO'S plays. 

m 
(us 



The publication of the plays of this popular author, made feasible by the new 
Copyright Act, under which his valuable stage rights can be fully protected, 
enables us to offer to amateur actors a series of modern pieces of the highest 
class, all of which have met with distinguished success in the leading English 
and American theatres, and most of which are singularly well adapted for ama- 
teur performance. This publication was originally intended for the benefit of 
readers only, but the increasing demand for the plays for acting purposes has 
far outrun their merely literary success. With the idea of placing this excel- 
lent series within the reach of the largest possible number of amateur clubs, we 
have obtained authority to offer them for acting purposes at an author's roy- 
alty of 

Ten Dollars for Each Performance. 

This rate does not apply to professional performances , for which terms will be 
made known on application. 



(h 



THE AMAZONS. 



A Farcical Romance in Three Acts. By Arthur 
W. Pinero. Seven male and five female char- 

- ! acters. Costumes, modern; scenery, an exterior 

and an interior, not at all difficult. This admirable farce is too well known 
through its recent performance by the Lyceum Theatre Company, New York, to 
need description. It is especially recommended to young ladies' schools and 
colleges. (1895.) 



THE CABINET MINISTER. 



A Farce in Four Acts. By 
Arthur W. Pineko. Ten male 
and nine female characters. 
Costumes, modern society ; scenery, three interiors. A very amusing piece, in- 
genious in construction, and brilliant in dialogue. (1892.) 



DANDY DICK. 



A Farce in*Thfe*^ Acts. By Arthur W. Pixero. 
Seven male, four female characters. Costumes, mod- 
ern ; scenery, two interiors. This very amusing piece 
was another success in the New York and Boston theatres, and has been ex- 
tensively played from manuscript by amateurs, for whom it is in every respect 
suited. It provides an unusual number of capital character parts, is very funny, 
and an excellent acting piece. Plays two hours and a half. (1893.) 



THE HOBBY HORSE. 



A Comedy in Three Acts. By Arthur 
W. Pijsero. Ten male, five female char- 
1 acters. Scenery, two interiors and an ex- 
terior ; costumes, modern. This piece is best known in this country through the 
admirable performance of Mr. John Hare, who produced it in all the principal 
cities. Its story presents a clever satire of false philanthropy, and is full of 
interest and humor. Well adapted for amateurs, by whom it has been success- 
fully acted. Plays two hours and a half. (1892.) 



tv 

i\ 

i 

\ 

it 






LADY BOUNTIFUL. 



A Play in Four Acts. By Arthur W. 
Pinero. Eight male and seven female char- 
acters. Costumes, modern ; scenery, four 

interiors, not easy. A play of powerful sympathetic interest, a little sombre in 

key, but not unrelieved by humorous touches. (I 892 -) 



£££g 













kN ENGAGING POSITION 



& Cometis to ^a &cts 



BY 

LEWIS E. MacBRAYNE 



As first presented April Jth, 1896, at the residence of 
Clinton P. Russell, Lowell, Mass, 




nor 



ES RECEIVED. 



BOSTON 






1898 

(A 






999 .^M"^ 



CHARACTERS. 



THEODORE DeWinks. — A young man with a fortune ; of poetical incli- 
nations , but said to be shy, 

James Moncastle. — An artist of reputation, but as yet no considerable 
fortune, 

Thomas Bulmer Todd. — With a name, if no occupation, 

Imogene Tremwell. — - Third cousin to De Winks* 

Annette Golde. — An heiress, but also an advanced woman, 

Marcia Ladner. — A graduate of a law school. 



Costumes, modern and appropriate. Time, the forenoon. 
Place, a Studio in New York, 




Copyright, 1898, by^Walter H. Baker & Co. 






AN ENGAGING POSITION. 



ACT h 



Scene. — A large room with an entrance in the centre at the Sack, 
and a door to the right and one to the left. A half-finished pic- 
ture is on an easel. There are rugs on the floor, fencing foils 
and pictures and sketches on the walls. Table with pen and 
ink, one or two chairs, etc. When curtain rises, Moncastle is 
at work in front of the easel, in painting-coat. Todd, in morn- 
ing-dress, is reading a magazine beside a table. 

Todd (looking up). Here is news. Our friend Teddy Has had 
a poem published. 

Moncastle (turning away from picture). Then the literary 
millennium has come. I suppose it's about Daphne? They gen- 
erally are. 

Todd. No ; he has changed his muse. It is on " A Sunset." 
Want to hear it ? 

Mon. Yes ; 1 need something to change my luckv If it isn*! 
too long, go ahead. 

Todd. It is short, and with a fading light Mice a sunset. 
Listen. {Reads.) 

tf The summer sun now slumbers soft, 
And leaves her limpid light 
Turned low beneath a tangled cloud, 
Beyond the reach of night. 

It makes me think tremendous thoughts 

Of things that are sublime ; 
But sombre sadness steals my sense, 

The thoughts refuse to rhyme." 

Mon. (solemnly). Amen. 

Todd. Sad r isn't it ? Poor Teddy, he has genius in him ; 

ft But sombre sadness steals his sense, 
His thoughts refuse to rhyme." 

DeWinks (standing in door at rear). Tut, tut! reading my 
poem ? I don't blame you a bit. (Enters.) 

Mon. Why didn't you tell us, Teddy? Such a surprise as 
this is a test on a man's friendship. 



4 AN ENGAGING POSITION. 

DeW. No joking, Chames. I am sober this morning. No, 
I mean serious. You paint with the brush, and I with the pen. 
Here, hear my epic on the " War of the Insects.'' {Unfolds a long 
roll of manuscript.*) 

Todd. Hear, hear! 

Mon. I wouldn't, really, Teddy. Save it for a matinee per- 
formance. I am expecting callers at the studio this morning, and 
I might be obliged to keep them waiting. 

DeW. Any ladies ? 

Mon. One or two, I believe. 

DeW. (rolling manuscript). Then I am off. No ladies for me, 
thank you. 

Todd. You seem to be less a lady's man than ever. 

DeW. I should think so. (Mysteriously.) I am in danger, 
fellows. 

Both. In danger? 

DeW. Yes. Conspiracy on foot to marry me to somebody. 
I discovered it myself some time ago. You know that big Mrs. 
Brounder ? Awfully big woman, you know. She asked me if I 
was always going to be a bachelor, and why I did it. I told her 
I didn't know ; and she ran away before I knew it, and came back 
with her three daughters. 

Todd (laughing). There is no conspiracy in that. 

DeW. Oh, it's not the only thing. They are waiting for me 
everywhere. If I go out in the evening, I meet mammas and 
mammas. They talk of nothing but their daughters. I say, fel- 
lows, it's a shame. (Walks excitedly up and down the room, 
dragging the unrolled manuscript.) 

Mon. But you must not expect people to let you entirely alone, 
Teddy. Don't you know that you are one of the best catches in 
New York? Young, wealthy, and — 

Todd. Talented. 

Mon. Yes, talented. 

DeW. But I won't get married if I don't want to. I say it's 
an outrage to carry a man off against his will. 

Todd. This is thrilling. Imagine it in the World some day. 
" The rising young poet, Mr. DeWinks, carried off by two 
mammas in a hansom. Fortunejof a million the probable plunder." 

DeW. Honestly, fellows, I am in real trouble this time. I 
came to ask your advice. 

Mon. Then tell us the whole story, Teddy, and we will see 
what can be done about it. 

DeW (sitting down). You know my money all came from the 
governor's brother, my uncle ? 

Mon. Yes. 



AN ENGAGING POSITION. 5 

DeW. He left the whole thing to me before I was out of col- 
lege, all invested, so that I didn't trouble my head over it. The 
will gave me everything, without conditions. 

Todd. You aren't tired of it ? 

DeW. No ; but they have found another will. 

Mon. Oh, that is something. 

DeW. It will be read to-morrow, in the presence of the rela- 
tives. If at the reading I will promise to marry my third cousin, 
Imogene Tremwell, I retain the fortune. If I am engaged to any 
one else at the time, half of the money belongs to me But if I 
do neither, half the money goes to my cousin, and the rest to build 
a home for veterans of the Revolutionary War, or something of that 
kind. 

Todd. What are you going to do ? 

DeW. I don't know. I wouldn't have come here if I did. 

Mon. I should advise you to marry the cousin, Teddy. She 
is a charming girl, for I know her well. 

DeW. But I don't want to marry her ; I've hardly seen her 
since I was out of college. Besides, I can't marry her and write 
poetry too. There isn't time. 

Mon. But you lose the money if you don't marry hen Think 
of that for a moment. 

DeW. I have thought of that, Chamesy, and I don't want to 
lose the money. How can I live without money? 

Todd. Write poetry. 

DeW. I can't even do that. See here, fellows, I had to prom- 
ise to take half the edition to get this published. {Pointing to the 
magazine.} 

Todd. The will hasn't been read yet ? Leave it to me ; I 
have an idea. You must propose to some other girl to-day. 

DeW. But I don't want to marry any other girl. 

Todd. You needn't. You propose to her and remain engaged 
till after the will is read. That will comply with the law, and you 
will retain half the money. Then you can tell the the girl that you 
are afraid you made a mistake, and break the engagement. 

Mon. Capital ! That will do it for you. 

DeW. Do you think so? But how am I to propose? I 
never proposed to a girl in my life. {Musing.} I say, now, 
couldn't you fellows do it? I've got five hundred dollars coming 
due in bond coupons to-morrow. One of you fellows fix the thing 
all right, arid take them for your trouble. 

Both {aside). Five hundred dollars ! 

Mon. It might be done. 

Todd. Yes ; we can talk it over later. There is plenty of time. 

DeW. Well, I will run down and see my lawyer. Awfully 
obliged to you. {He goes out.) 





6 AN ENGAGING POSITION, 

Todd (aside). 1 think I see that money myself. (Aloud.) I 
will run along, too, Moncastle. I promised to see a man at the 
club. I will drop in again, or, at any rate, I will see you at Mrs. 
Thurlow's musicale to-night. (Goes out.) 

Mon. {to himself). Five hundred! Paint a man's praises 
instead of his picture. I suppose it is all the same thing as long 
as a sale is made. I will propose for him to the first eligible girl 
I meet. (Changes his coat and gets his hat.) 

(Enter Miss Golde at main entrance.) 

Miss Golde, Good-morning, Mr. Moncastle, You were just 
going out ? 

Mon. (aside). Fortune favors me. {Aloud.) No, indeed. I 
was expecting you. I only thought of taking a turn around the 
square to keep myself company. 

Miss G. I need not keep you, then. I shall be unable to give 
you that sitting this afternoon. Let me see (consulting tablet ), I 
have a meeting of the Middlesex Woman's Club at two, a commit- 
tee of the Education of Men Society at three, and must read a 
paper at five on " The Right of Woman to Vote on any Question 
She Pleases." Do you suppose, Mr. Moncastle, that women ever 
will be allowed to vote ? 

Mon. (depreciatingly). Heaven only knows. 

Miss G. Of course I was never in a ward-room ; but one of 
our members went, and she reported that there was no carpet on 
the floor, and not a picture on the wall. Just think of that ! 

Mon. Frightful, Miss Golde ! If this be true, I will never vote 
again. 

Miss G. (shaking her finger). Don't shirk your duty, Mr. 
Moncastle. You men are partly to blame. My brother told me 
only last week that he hadn't been near the polls for ten months. 

Mon. (trying to look serious). This is a fearful neglect of duty. 
You tell him for me that we have elected two United States sena- 
tors and seventy-two policemen in New York in that time. 

Miss G. There! I knew something had happened. I will 
make a note of that, and report it to the club. ( Writes on the 
tablet.) Mr. Moncastle, the young men are all going wrong. All 
they care for is business and the club, and never think of anything 
that is noble and beautiful. (Sighs.) 

Mon. Some of them do, Miss Golde ; and one who is a great 
friend of yours was here just now, — - Teddy DeWinks. 

Miss G. Oh, Mr. DeWinks? What has he done? 

Mon. (impressively). Written a poem. 

Miss G. Written a poem? How beautiful! Where is it? 

Mon. In this magazine. Want to hear it ? 









AN ENGAGING POSITION. 7 

Miss G. Oh, yes ! I will make a note of that for the club. 
( Writes.) " New York man with a fortune writes a poem." 
Mon. I will read half of it. It is rather long. {Reads.) 

M The summer sun now slumbers soft, 
And leaves her limpid light 
Turned low beneath a tangled cloud, 
Beyond the reach of night." 

Miss G. Isn't that perfectly beautiful? Why don't you write 
poetry, Mr. Moncastle? 

Mon. My head isn't built right for it But I wanted to tell 
you : Teddy is thinking of being married. 

Miss G. How horrid to throw all that talent away on some 
girl who doesn't appreciate it, or who doesn't believe in women's 
rights. 

Mon. But this girl does believe in women's rights, and she is 
very pretty. 

Miss G. {coldly). I don't think I know her. 

Mon. Oh, yes, you do. She came here just a little while ago. 

Miss G. And went out with him ? 

Mon. No ; she is here now. The fact is, he hasn't spoken to 
her about it. He is a very bashful fellow, you know, quite given 
to literature, and he was afraid that she might think he presumed 
too much in asking for her hand. So he wanted me to ask you 
when you called, and then, if you said " No," he would be spared 
the pain of suffering in your presence. 

Miss G. Why, this is so sudden, Mr. Moncastle ! Just like the 
courtship of Miles Standish, isn't it ? 

Mon. Yes ; I shouldn't wonder if he made it the subject of a 
great epic poem sometime. 

Miss G. I fear there is a terrible barrier. {Slowly.) Do you 
know whether he believes in women's rights ? 

Mon. I imagine so ; I never heard him say so directly, but I 
think he has hinted at the matter in one of his poems to Daphne. 

Miss G. And do you suppose he would be willing to build a 
club-house for the Advanced Disciples of Ibsen ? 

Mon. I haven't authority to say so specifically ; but I have 
heard him say something about founding a hospital for some revo- 
lution. 

Miss G. Oh, yes! He meant the social revolution. That is 
going on now. 

Mon. I haven't a doubt of it. But let me show you the paint- 
ings I have hung in the other room, and we can talk more of this 
without ,being disturbed by other callers. {They go out at the 
left.) 



8 AN ENGAGING POSITION. 



{Enter Miss Ladner and Mr. Todd.) 

Miss Ladner. I am so glad I met you, Mr. Todd ; I wanted 
to talk to some one about a most unusual case. A man had a 
race-horse valued at ten thousand dollars, and he put a five-thou- 
sand-dollar mortgage on him to buy some mining-stock that was 
expected to rise in value. Then a man attached the horse because 
of a window he broke when at college, and put a keeper in the 
stable. The horse kicked the keeper, who struck him with a chair, 
breaking his leg ; so that it can't race now, and is worth only one 
hundred and seventy-five dollars. Now who can sue to recover? 

Todd {sinking into a chair, and fanning himself with his hat). 
I don't know. Let me recover first. Where did you ever learn 
all that ? 

Miss L. At the law school, of course. Papa said I might 
take any course I chose, and I went to the law school. Now he 
won't let me practice, and doesn't even want me to go inside of a 
court-house. O Mr. Todd, I do so want to go to court ! 

Todd. Is that so ? Then leave it to me. I have an idea. 

Miss L. There ! I thought you might. 

Todd. Eh ? Oh, yes ! 

Miss L. You really know a way ? 

Todd. Yes ; you must go to court with a man. 

Miss L. But papa wouldn't let me. 

Todd. We can arrange that. 

Miss L. I suppose we could get a writ of mandamus served 
on him. 

Todd. A writ of what ? 

Miss L. Mandamus. Writ issued by one of the Supreme 
Justices, reading: " Come into court, Mr. Hardfist Ladner, and 
show cause why your daughter, Marcia Ladner, late graduate of 
the law school, should not be allowed to go to court." 

Todd. That ought to phase the old boy? 

Miss L. What? 

Todd. That ought to put a new phase on the situation. 

Miss L. Or we could serve an injunction on him. That would 
keep him at home the first day, and we would be obliged to appear 
in court against him as witnesses the second. But perhaps your 
plan is better? 

Todd. Yes ; listen. I want to tell you a story first. I have 
a friend who is rich and talented, and he came to me for counsel. 

Miss L. He wanted to engage a lawyer? Is he in trouble? 

Todd. No ; in love. 

Miss L. And her parents object ? 

Todd. No ; they don't know of it. 







AN ENGAGING POSITION. 






Miss L. They have eloped, then ? It is all right if they are of 
age, and the ceremony was properly witnessed. 

Todd. No ; they haven't eloped. He hasn't asked her yet. 

Miss L. Why doesn't he? They can't put him in jail for 
that ? 

Todd. No ; but you see he is a very modest man, and the 
woman he adores is away up — mentally. He hardly dares 
approach her. 

Miss L. All people are equal in the eyes of the law. Is he very 
much attached to her? 

Todd. Very much ; only he wants me to serve the attach- 
ment. 

Miss L. And who will be the keeper ? 

Todd. He will, after that. The truth is, he wants me to pro- 
pose for him. Now, what course would you pursue ? 

Miss L. Let me see. I would write a letter. 

Todd {getting paper and pen). All right. Now you dictate. 

Miss L. Date it first, and then write: "My dear Miss Blank" 
— with the name of the young lady. 

Todd. Yes. 

Miss L. The power of attorney having been conferred upon 
me. 

Todd (writing). Conferred upon me — 

Miss L. I beg leave to inform you that — 

Todd. Theodore DeWinks. 

Miss L. Oh ! {After a moment 's pause.) Who loves you 
devotedly, hereby tenders you an honorable offer of marriage, 
and begs leave to meet you at the earliest possible moment in the 
matter, if a favorable answer can be given. Signed, Thomas 
Todd. 

Todd. Thomas Bulmer Todd. You don't think that sounds 
formal ? 

Miss L. No ; the young lady will understand it. 

Todd. You just look it over and see that it is all right. 
{Hands her the paper.) 

Miss L. Why, you have made a mistake in the beginning, Mr. 
Todd. You have written my name upon it. 

Todd. Yes ; you are the young lady, Miss Ladner. By court- 
ing him, you can go to court without your father's consent. 

Miss L. If I am the respondent in this case, I ought to be 
allowed time to file my answer. {Whistling is heard outside.) 

Todd. Let me take you to the reception-room. I hear some- 
body coming, and it may be the plaintiff in the case. 

Miss L. (as they go through the door at the right). Not the 
plaintiff, the petitioner. 






IO AN ENGAGING POSITION. 

(De Winks enters from the rear, as Moncastle comes in from the 
left, and Todd from the right. They go to meet him, and come 
down the stage arm in arm.) 

DeW. It's all right, fellows ; I won't have to trouble you. 

Both {raising a finger). Hush ! 

DeW. Musn't wake Chames's " Sleeping Beauty " ? But I say, 
fellows, it's all right. I met her on the street just after I left, and 
we walked in the park. 

Both. Met whom ? 

DeW. Why, Imogene, of course. (Moncastle and Todd 
sink into chairs.) I had been thinking it over, the money and 
everything, you know, and when I saw her, as fair as the June 
morning, I made up my mind to have it over. And I led up to it 
prettily, too. We got to talking of poetry, and I recited part of 
my poem. (Recites dramatically.) 

" The summer sun now slumbers soft, 
And leaves her limpid light 
Turned low beneath a tangled cloud, 
Beyond the reach of night." 

I told her I was thinking of her when I wrote it. (Looks around 
and sees the others sitting dejectedly^) Why, what's the matter? 
You told me to do it. She will be here in a minute. I told her 
all about you fellows, and she is down at the door now, talking 
with Mrs. Thurlow. I ran up to break the news. 

Mon. Teddy, old man, forgive me. I have already proposed 
for you, and you are accepted. 

Todd (starting). What? So have I, and I know it is all 
right. 

DeW. (excitedly). Proposed? Confound it, what did you 
propose for? Can't I do my own proposing? I'd like to know 
whose business it is to propose for me. 

Mon. You told us to, old man. 

Todd. And we thought we were doing you a favor. 

Mon. Why, I proposed just after you went out. You must 
have met her. 

Todd. And I proposed not ten minutes later. She was headed 
this way when I went out. 

DeW. Great Scott ! I'm ruined ! Who are they ? 

Mon. I proposed to Miss Golde. 

Todd. Miss Golde! Dash it, why did you propose to her? 
Don't you know I like Miss Golde? I wouldn't have had you 
propose to her for the world ! 

Mon. (wearily). No, I didn't. I didn't know anything. 

Todd. You might have taken some one you knew about. I 
proposed to Miss Ladner. % 



AN ENGAGING POSITION. II 

Mon. Tommy, you have done me more harm than I have you. 
I would have given up painting rather than have had you propose 
to her. 

DeW. We all seem to be in this tangle. Now somebody must 
unsnarl it. Oh — 

{Enter Miss Golde, l., Miss Ladner, r., and Imogene Trem- 
well, c. They rush to meet DeWinks.) 

Todd. Girls, congratulate Teddy on his engagement. {Rushes 
round shaking hands with them to keep the7n from DeWinks. 
Digs Moncastle in the ribs and whispers.} Dash it, make a 
speech or something ! 

Mon. {standing on a hassock). Ladies and gentlemen, though 
not prepared to speak, I cannot let this occasion pass without say- 
ing a word among so many friends. (Pauses.) 

Todd. Hear, hear ! 

Mon. Our friend Teddy is wealthy and wise, and has at last 
consented to renounce the cheerless halls of bachelorhood. 

Todd {under his breath) . Go on. 

Mon. He has chosen a truly charming woman for his bride 
{girls look conscious), and upon some later occasion I shall 
pledge her health and prosperity. {To DeWinks.) It is your 
turn now. 

DeW. Ladies and gentlemen, I should like to respond to these 
sentiments, but — I haven't tasted food for two days. Quick, 
James, I am fainting ! {He falls into the arms of Moncastle. 
Girls cry out in fright.) 

Todd. Don't be alarmed. It is only a fainting-spell. He has 
hurt himself by overwork. {Pushing the7n toward the door in 
the rear.) I wouldn't ask you to go if it wasn't for his good. He 
will come round all right when we remove his collar, so you 
wouldn't want to remain. {They go out.) And don't say anything 
about it at all. It would be his dying wish. 

(Moncastle has DeWinks sitting dejectedly on the hassock. 
Supports him with one hand, while plying the ink-bottle to his 
nose with the other.) When Todd returns, DeWinks opens his 
eyes.) 

DeW. Tommy, two bottles of laudanum, quick ! 
QUICK CURTAIN. 



!2 AN ENGAGING POSITION. 



ACT II. 

Evening of the same day. 

Scene. — Reception-room adjoining music-room in Mrs. Thur- 
low's house on the night of a musicale. Door in the rear and 
at the left. Fancy screen in the centre of the stage j couch large 
enough for three people on the side of the screen opposite from 
the side entrance ; a couple of chairs on side of the screen near Jj 
the entrance. All arranged so people on one side of the screen l 
will be hid from those on the other. 

(Curtain rises, showing De Winks seated, in evening dress, facing i 
the audience. He has his hat, cane, and gloves in his hand, ij 
and has not removed his overcoat. Moncastle and Todd, in 
evening dress, are standing at either side. The greater part of 
this act should be given to soft music coming from the other 
room where the musicale is in progress.} 

DeW. It's no use talking; I say I won't go in. Why didn't 
you tell me they would all be here? 

Mon. We didn't know it. Nearly everybody has arrived, and 
Mrs. Thurlow has asked for you twice. You must come in. 

DeW. But what am I to do with three engaged young ladies 
on my hands? You fellows ought to have arranged it somehow 
this afternoon. 

Todd. We tried, Teddy ; but it took all of our time to keep 
them away from your house. 

DeW. (taking three notes from his pocket.} Yes ; look at 
these. (Reading.} " My dear Theodore: It is another sign that 
women should come to the front when men faint. Let me know 
by messenger how you are. Faithfully, 

A. GOLDE." 

Mon. Result of my misguided philanthropy. 
DeW. Here's another : " Dear Mr. DeWinks : Am anxiously 
waiting to hear the verdict. Are you better ? 

MARCIA LADNER. ,, 

Todd. Legal complications. 

DeW. There is only this one more. " Dear Teddy : Don't 
stop eating again. Why wouldn't they let me in to see you ? 
Write me that you are better, or I will knock that horrid butler 
over and come in. Lovingly, 

Genie." 

Mon. The three fates. 

DeW. Yes ; and, hang it all, what is my fate ? I didn't dare 



zl 








AN ENGAGING POSITION. 1 3 

go out of the house until it was dark. I wish I hadn't come out 
now. I won't go in. I will go to Boston on the next train and 
let it blow over. 

Mon. But think of the will that must be read to-morrow. 

DeW. Well, you fellows can attend to that. Go round and 
say I was engaged and couldn't come. 

Todd. But the three girls? What will they do when they 
learn how matters stand? You can't expect them to keep their 
engagements to themselves for more than a day. 

DeW. Tell them I will play a return engagement later. No ; 
I'll set my boat adrift in the harbor, and you can send my obitu- 
ary to the papers. When a couple of them are married, I will 
come to life. 

Mon. But suppose they all claim the fortune in case of death ? 

DeW. I wish my face was my fortune, and I could take it with 
me. 

Todd. There is no way out of it, old man. You must face the 
music, and have it out to-night. 

DeW. Thanks. How am I going to do it? Go in there and 
give a hand to each and my heart to the third ? Tommy, are there 
any mammas there ? 

Todd. Two, I believe. 

DeW. Then count the grand total five, at least. 

Todd. Leave it to me. I have an idea. We will let the girls 
out here to you. 

DeW. All at once ? Oh, no. 

Todd. No ; one at a time. (To Moncastle). You go in for 
the first, old man. Tell her quietly that Theodore is out here, but 
not yet well enough to come in. 

Mon. (as music is heard from the other room). The musicale 
begins. So does the comedy. 

DeW. Call it a tragedy. (Moncastle goes out.) 

Todd (helping De Winks off with his coat). Here, now, look 
sick. (De Winks makes a grimace.) No, not like that. She 
will take you for a court jester. 

DeW. Well, I'm no court jester. This courting is "jest" a 
little too serious. 

Todd (leaving the room). She is coming. We will give you 
five minutes in which to break the engagement. 

DeW. She ? Which she ? 

(Enter Miss Ladner and Moncastle.) 

Mon. Oh, yes ; he is much better, I assure you ; but we were 
afraid tlvit the excitement of the drawing-room might be too great 
at first. (He retires.) 



14 AN ENGAGING POSITION. 

Miss L. {coming forward). I am so sorry that you are ill. I 
would have come before had I known you were here. I haven't 
seen you to speak to since — {pauses and looks downy 

DeW. {looking straight ahead). Yes ? 

Miss L. {piqued). Why, how cool you are! 

DeW. Yes ; I had a chill this morning. 

Miss L. Poor fellow ! a chill following a fainting-spell ! Do 
sit down and we can talk about — {archly) — courts and things. 

DeW. {aside). Tennis ! What a funny subject ! 

Miss L. Are you fond of courts ? 

DeW. Oh, yes ; quite fond. 

Miss L. I suppose you go to them quite often? 

DeW. Well, yes ; I own one myself. 

Miss L. Own a court ? Why, how charming ! And do people 
go there with their cases ? 

DeW. Well, yes ; cases and rackets. 

Miss L. I suppose you call it a criminal court, then? 

DeW. No ; we generally call it a clay court. 

Miss L. Clay court? Humanity and its mother earth. What 
a pretty sentiment ! I knew you were poetical. How fine to be 
poetical and own a court ! Do you have many famous men there ? 

DeW. We have one or two fellows with a fine delivery. 

Miss L. {clasping her hands). Only to think of it ! And do 
they fight real hard for their side ? 

DeW. Oh, yes ! They frequently win by a single point. 

Miss L. And do they often get decisions against them? 

DeW. Certainly, when there is a referee. 

Miss L. Oh, I didn't know they had a referee. 

DeW. They don't very often. Only in the big matches. 

Miss L. I see. A sort of assistant judge. I suppose there 
are — {slowly) — some women there? 

DeW. Certainly. As many women as men. 

Miss L. There ! I told my father so, and he wouldn't believe 
me. 

DeW. {aside). What an odd governor ! 

Miss L. He means well, but he is misinformed. You are sure 
you won't object to my going to the court with you ? 

DeW. Not in the least. 

Miss L. And I could stay as long as I wanted to? 

DeW. Just as long as you wanted to. Provided, of course, 
that the weather was good. 

Miss L. Of course. I wouldn't care to go out in stormy 
weather. 

DeW. No ; very few people do. 

Miss L. I think you are a perfect dear. 




AN ENGAGING POSITION. I 5 

DeW. Hey? {Moving away a little.} Thank you. 

Miss L. {looking down). You might hold my hand for a few 
moments, if it wouldn't tire you. 

DeW. Thank you very much. (He holds her hand awk- 
wardly with one of his, while with the other he beckons franti- 
cally to Moncastle, who then appears in the doorway and 
coughs. Miss Ladner looks up slightly and bows. When she 
looks away, he bows and coughs again.) 

Miss L. (coldly). Good-evening, Mr. Moncastle. 

Mon. Ah, good-evening. (Comes forward and shakes hands 
effusively.) Your mother wanted me to find you. You will excuse 
us, won't you, Teddy ? (He takes her arm and almost drags her 
fro?n the room.) 

DeW. (after they go out). What a silly girl, to talk of nothing 
but tennis ! How the dickens am I going to prevent a love set 
with her? 

(Enter Miss Golde and Todd.) 

Miss G. In here ? How good of him to come out when he is 
ill ! (She advances toward De Winks, and Todd retires.) Don't 
stand, you are not well. Let me make you comfortable. (Ar- 
ranges sofa pillows.) Do you feel better now? 

DeW. Yes ; if I don't have a relapse. 

Miss G. Is your head or your heart weak? 

DeW. I think it is my head. Some people might say it was 
the heart. 

Miss G. Um ! Do you often have these spells ? 

DeW. I never had so bad a one as this before. I say, Miss 
Golde, I want to talk about what happened this noon. 

Miss G. I understand it perfectly. Don't talk about it, pray, 
until you are better. 

DeW. But it's about — about your proposal. 

Miss G. I understand perfectly. I like your modesty. Most 
young men are so overbearing and important. And besides, Mr. 
Moncastle told me that you might make it the subject of an epic 
poem. Do you really think you will ? 

DeW. (with spi?'it ). If I ever do, it will be in blank verse ! 

Miss G. I suppose that is less difficult. Do you write much 
poetry ? 

DeW. I did. 

Miss G. I was very much pleased with your poem in the 
Continental. 

DeW. (brightening). Were you? 1 thought that was pretty 
good myself. I have dashed oft a new one since then. 

Miss G. How beautiful ! Do let me hear it. 



l6 AN ENGAGING POSITION. 

DeW. {takes manuscript from his pocket and reads), 

" I know no joy in earth or heaven 

When thou hast turned thy face aside , 
The path was bright when thou wert smiling, 
But now in darkness I abide. 

If thou wouldst keep me from repining, 

Then never hide thy face again ; 
For I am sad at thy designing, 

When thou my homage doth disdain." 

Miss G. How pretty! I am sure you were thinking about 
some one you liked very well when you wrote that. 

DeW. Well, no. I wrote it about the moon. 

Miss G. Oh! (With a long sigh. Then after a silence.} I 
suppose you could write poems on women's rights ? 

DeW. On what? 

Miss G. Women's rights. 

DeW. {doubtfully). Women's rights ? Oh, yes ; women's rights. 

Miss G. It would have great weight, I think. 

DeW. Oh, yes ; great weight. 

Miss G. And the council of E. W. of E. N. Y. could see to 
the proper distribution of the same. 

DeW. {alarmed). The E. W. what? 

Miss G. The Emancipated Women of Enlightened New York, 
you know. 

DeW. Oh, of course; Enlightened Women of Emancipated 
New York. (Aside.) Over study. 

Miss G. They have already voted in favor of having carpets 
in the ward rooms, and have recommended music during elections. 
It would elevate the atmosphere. 

DeW. It might cost a few dollars. 

Miss G. Yes ; but don't you suppose that some man could be 
found with a fortune that he would be willing to devote to the 
work ? Don't you suppose there exists one such man in all New 
York? 

DeW. I haven't a doubt of it. There's every kind of a man 
in New York, they say. 

Miss G. You good man, to say so. I knew the cause would 
find a champion. You see, my father would cut off my allowance 
if he thought that I was spending my money in that way. He 
doesn't believe in it. But I shall not need his assistance now. 
(After a paused) I suppose you might kiss me just once, although 
I don't approve of romantic engagements. 

DeW. (looking anxiously at door). Thanks — but — er — I — 
thought I heard somebody coming. 

Miss G. (listening). I don't hear anybody. 










AN ENGAGING POSITION. 1 7 



DeW. Listen again. I thought I heard footsteps. {Stands 
behind her, and beckons in the direction of the door at side. Enter 

MONCASTLE.) 

Mon. {advancing*to Miss Golde). Rossini is going to play, 
Miss Golde. I heard you say you wanted very much to hear him. 
{Takes her arm and leads her to the other room.) 

Miss G. {to DeWinks as she goes ouQ. I will be back directly, 
Theodore. 

DeW. {as she retires). Don't. Go in search of the lunatic who 
will furnish ward-rooms. 

{Enter Todd.) 

Todd. All right, old man ? I believe I will go now and pro- 
pose to Miss Golde myself. 

DeW. Oh, yes ; it is all right! Why, I am worse off than I 
was before! One of them* wanted me to hold her hand, and the 
other — {he finishes in a whisper). 

Todd {laughing). I say, Teddy, what is going to become of 
us? 

DeW. Suicide. Dark, wicked suicide. I will leave a note, 
saying, " He couldn't marry three." I will write it to-night. 

Todd. And kill yourself to-morrow ? 

DeW. No ; I have an engagement for to-morrow ; I will do it 
to-night. How is a genteel way to die, Thomas ? 

Todd. Fast ; the way Dr. Tanner did. 

DeW. Fast ! I would starve to death ! ( Voices are heard from 
the other room. Moncastle is saying.) 

Mon. I wouldn't both go in. He might not be able to stand it. 

DeW. They are coming back, two of them. What am 1 to do ? 

Todd. Leave it to me. I have an idea. Here, stand behind 
me, and slip out when they come in. (DeWinks stands behind 
Todd, who bows when Moncastle, Miss Golde and Miss Lad- 
ner come in ; then he backs round in a half circle, DeWinks back 
of him all the time, and they both slip out the door the girls came 
in without DeWinks having been seen by the girls.) 

Mon. {seeing DeWinks has gone). I will tell you that story 
now. Oddest story ! Man from San Francisco told it to me. 
{Girls are looking around the screen and into corners of the room 
absent-mindedly .) You aren't listening to a word I say. 

Miss G. Yes; I was listening. I thought — I was thinking, 
that was all. 

Miss L. I will leave you to tell the story to Annette. I think 
I have left my fan in the other room. 

Mon. No, don't go, Miss Ladner ; I have something to say. 
{Correcting.) That is, I want to tell the story. Come and sit 



1 8 AN ENGAGING POSITION. 

here. { The three take seats on the couch, M oncastle in the middle. 
Couch is so situated that the screen hides them from sight of the 
entrance to the other room.) 

Miss G. Now tell us your story. 

Mon. It was in Pasadena, in one of the prettiest places beyond 
the Rockies. Her home was where at evening she caught the 
richest tints of the setting sun. 

Miss L. Was she pretty ? 

Mon. {turning to Miss Ladner). She had the glory of your 
own eyes, and her tresses were soft brown, like your own — like 
yours were when the wind blew them that day at old Nahant, 
when you came out to see me paint the storm. Do you remember ? 

Miss L. {softly). Yes, (Miss Golde gives an audible sigh 
and looks the other way.) 

Mon. {turning to Miss Golde with some confusion, and talk' 
ing very rapidly^) And she believed in women's rights, and had 
seen the cause triumph throughout the State. 

Miss G. In California ? 

Mon. No; in Nevada. That is, I think it was Nevada or 
Dakota. Anyway, it was the last place where she lived before 
her father moved to California. 

Miss L. She wasn't married, then ? 

Mon. {turning to Miss Ladner again). No; but she was 
loved. He was an ambitious fellow, and needed only her smile 
to give him success. He was afraid that somehow she might not 
care for him, and so he left off calling rather than risk a refusal. 
Can't you see how it could come about ? 

Miss G. Very pathetic, I'm sure. 

Mon. {turning to her). To be sure. He knew, you see, that 
if she had ambitions to become an apostle of woman's suffrage, 
that she would be above such humble thoughts as man. You see ? 

Miss G. I begin to see. 

Mon. {to Miss Ladner). And so he kept silent until, in an 
unexpected hour, one of his friends asked for her hand, and she 
gave it. 

Miss L. Do you think she cared for the man she promised to 
marry ? 

Mon. No; I do not. I believe that she was moved by his 
wealth, or because he could gratify a passing wish. 

Miss L. {softly). Was she happy ? 

(DeWinks and Todd have just entered the room, but the screen 
hides the two parties.) 

DeW. I shall be a beggar to-morrow. 

Todd, Not so loud ; even the walls have ears. 









AN ENGAGING POSITION. 19 

DeW. But I just met her in the other room. She has heard 
about the will, and says she will never marry me. 

Both Young Ladies {coming from behind the screen). She! 

DeW. What! 

Miss G. There is something here I don't understand. I could 
never marry a man of whom I had suspicions. 

Miss L. You? 

Miss G. Certainly. I believe I didn't mention the fact that I 
am engaged to Mr. DeWinks. 

Miss L. Impossible ! He made me an offer of marriage. 

DeW. It's come! I say, girls, the fact is — oh, tell them, 
Tommy ! 

Todd. Well, you see, girls, there was a mistake. It came 
about — that is, it had its origin or beginning — oh, it was Mon- 
castle's fault! 

Mon. (coming out from behind the screen). My fault ! Notl> 
ing of the kind ! It was all caused, or, rather what brought it 
about — 

DeW. No, girls; it was my fault. I mean, it was nobody's 
fault. They both misunderstood me. I have always been mis- 
understood. The wrong girl was proposed to. 

Miss G. I will never marry such a man ! 

Miss L. Nor will I ! 

DeW. Well, who asked you to ? I didn't. 

Miss L. {ready to sob). I shall sue for breach of promise. 

Miss G. And I shall report the matter to the C. R. A. N. K. S. 
club. 

Moncastle and Todd. Girls ! 

DeW. Let them go on. It will make a fine story for the 
papers. 

Miss L. I am going to cry ! I shall have to ask you to take 
me from the room, Mr. Moncastle. {They go out.) 

Miss G. You will please conduct me to the music-room, Mr. 
Todd. I have no desire to further converse with this young per- 
son. ( They go out.) 

•^E ** • " Farewell, sweet creature, 

When thy fate alights, 
Some other poet 

Writes thy woman's rights." 

(Laughing,) Most engaging position. (Growing sober.) No ; 
I mean it was a most engaging position. And to-morrow they 
read the will. If at the reading I will promise to marry — bah! 
— I know all that! It means that I shall be penniless. I am 
afraid, old man, that the summer sun has set. How strange a 
passing sunset ! How we let it fade away into the night, forget- 



20 AN ENGAGING POSITION. 

ting the joys that the day has brought until the shadows gather 
round us. And this is the hour of darkness for me. See how 
they have all left me ! To-morrow the world that I have known 
will leave me too. {Taking Miss Tremwell's note from his 
pocket.) Even she is lost. I will go to her now. {Starts toward 
drawing-room door and pauses.) No ; for if I win her again, 
they will say that I did it for the money. I will go away, and 
some day I will come back to her. {After a pause.) And yet I 
cannot go away like this. I will write a note to tell her that I 
meant what I said this morning. {Seats himself on the sofa, fur- 
ther side of the screen, and takes a letter fro?n his pocket.) Why, 
here is an unopened letter from my lawyer! I remember now. 
It came this evening. {Reading.) What ! Will is without sig- 
nature. Was only a draft, and valueless. Then the old will stands. 
Quick ! I must think what to do. {Rests his head on his hands 
as Miss Tremwell enters at the other side of the screen.) 

Miss Tremwell. Somehow the music doesn't please me to- 
night. I want to be alone. 

DeW. {aside). Her voice! 

Miss T. I don't know why it is the world has turned out so 
badly. {Taking seat this side of the screen.) I know I shall be 
an old maid now. The idea of me liking Teddy ! I don't — not 
a bit. He might have said, though, that he was sorry. He must 
have been out here a long time before he tried to find me. ( With 
a sigh.) Perhaps he was sitting here. Yes; there is a piece of 
paper with his writing on it. {She picks up from the floor the 
poem to the moon, which De Winks had dropped previously, and 
reads it aloud, while De Winks stands on the couch and looks 
down on her from over the top of the screen.) Poor fellow ! He 
wrote it for me after I sent him away. If he had only told me that 
the story about the will was false. 

DeW. {impressively). It was. 

Miss T. (jumping up in fright). Oh, how you frightened me, 
Mr. DeWinks ! You must have heard all I said. 

DeW. I did. There wasn't any truth in that story about the 
will. Why, I have a letter from my lawyer that says so. 

Miss T, You might have told me so before. 

DeW. There wasn't time, really. ^>on't you know how you 
sent me right away ? 

Miss T. I know how you ran away just like an insane person, 
without stopping to contradict me. 

DeW. But it was so sudden. I was obliged to come in here 
to think. And I have done some tall thinking since then. 

Miss T. I don't think it would be safe to marry a man who 
has to run into the next room every time he wants to think. 



AN ENGAGING POSITION, 



21 



DeW. But I am not always that way. I imagine it was the 
weather that time. 

Miss T. Then perhaps it was the weather that made you leave 
me in such haste this morning? 

DeW. Yes ; the weather. 

Miss T. And it was the weather, probably, that made you pro- 
pose to me? 

DeW. You can't believe that. 

Miss T. I did care for you once, but I am afraid that 1 was 
very wrong in doing it. 

DeW. Do not say that. 1 thought once to-night that I had 
lost my money, and 1 learned then that it was not the loss of wealth, 
but of you, that would be hardest to bear. Some day I may tell 
you all about it, but to-night — well, to-night 1 am doing the best 
I can. I feel that my future is in the balance, and that you alone 
can decide between a comedy and a tragedy. Shall I lose your 
help? 

Miss T. {with spirit, after a pause). No ! 

DeW. Then come to me. No: you can't. 1 forgot this 
screen. {Gets down and runs round the screen and catches her in 
his arms, when Moncastle appears in the doorway.) 

Mon. 1 beg your pardon ! 

DeW. Don't mention it. I was about to give a poem. (Mon- 
castle goes out.) 

Miss T. {as they sit down on the couch further side of the 
screen). You are sure you love me? 

DeW. There isn't any doubt of it. 

Miss T. And you were never engaged to anybody else ? 

DeW. {solemnly). *I never proposed to any other girl in my 
life. 

Miss T. I am so glad. 

DeW, Of course you are. Me propose to another ! There 
aren't any others. 

Miss T. I thought once that you cared just a little for Miss 
Ladner. 

DeW. That silly girl ! Why, she wanted to borrow my tennis 
court to-night. Hush ! 

{Enter Miss Golde and Todd. They sit down on side of the 
screen nearest the door., and are hidden from those on the other 
side.) 

Todd. After what happened, Miss Golde, I wouldn't presume 
to say what's in my heart. 

Miss G. You are getting sentimental, Mr. Todd. 
Todd. No, I'm not, Miss Golde. 







22 AN ENGAGING POSITION. 

Miss G. Then I haven't the slightest idea of what you mean. 

Todd. No ; of course not. It's my confounded fate. 

Miss G. It isn't unless you make it so. 

Todd. I have nothing to do with it at all. Fate is unkind to 
me. 

Miss G. You can't expect fate to ask your own questions for 
you. 

Todd. It wouldn't make much difference. I realize there 
isn't the slightest hope. 

Miss G. Now see here, Thomas Todd. Do you suppose 1 
was in iove ? do you think that I was in earnest ? can't you see I 
was only trying to make you jealous when I became engaged to 
— ( Violent sneeze on the other side of the screen causes her to stop 
and jump up.) 

DeW. (coming round side of screen}. Congratulations, old 
man, congratulations. 

Todd. But it isn't — 

DeW. Of course it isn't announced ! We won't say anything 
about it except to your personal friends. {Aside.) How about 
furnishing the ward-rooms? 

Miss G. Will you please explain, Mr. DeWinks ? 

DeW. How I found it out ? Oh, I suspected it this morning ; 
and then a little bird told me to-night that you were engaged. 

Todd. But, my dear fellow, we are not yet-^ 

DeW. Not yet ready to make the public announcement? Of 
course not ! Trust us, my boy. Why, Miss Tremwell and I might 
have kept our engagement quiet if you people hadn't all happened 
in this morning. 

Miss G. Miss Tremwell ? 

Miss T. Why, certainty ! 

DeW. You didn't think it was Miss Ladner? Well, what a 
joke ! We didn't mention any names, did we? 

Todd. I have an idea. 

Miss Gv Did you speak? 

Todd. I was going to say that I think we can finish our con- 
versation better in the other room. 

DeW. Don't go unless you must. I will not talk of what has 
occurred, Miss Golde, so long as you are good to me. Is it a 
truce ? 

Miss G. (as she andTor>T>go out). I suppose it will have to be. 

Miss T. (as they again seat themse/ves). You are quite sure 
he had really proposed to her? It sounded as if he hadn't. 

DeW. You don't suppose I have made a blunder, do you? 
Because it would make it so awkward for him, and he did me a 
favor not long ago, one that 1 have been waiting to repay. 






AN ENGAGING POSITION. 23 

Miss T. How loyal you men are ! 

DeW. Yes ; too loyal sometimes. In our desire to help one 
another we often do the wrong thing, and bring about no end of 
complications. 

Miss T, But it is only in books that men really do such 
things. Now imagine you and Mr. Todd getting into complica- 
tions ! 

DeW. Impossible! Let us talk about something else. I 
have a little note, for instance, that I prize more highly than any 
other manuscript I possess. 

Miss T. Oh, my foolish little note ! Let me see it. 

DeW. (handing her Miss Ladner's note by mistake). I have 
read it several times. 

Miss T. You have read it over several times ? 

DeW. Yes ; the last time just before you came in* 

Miss T. Do you remember how it began ? 

DeW. Of course. "My dear Teddy: Why wouldn't they let 
me in to see you, etc." 

Miss T. No; it reads like this. "Dear Mr. DeWinks : Am 
anxiously awaiting the verdict* Are you better ? 

Marcia Ladner." 

DeW. (whistling softly). Here's your note. Wait, somebody 
else is coming ; we had better leave the room ! 

(Miss Ladner and M ON castle come into the room and stand on 
other side of screen from DeWinks and Miss Tremwell.) 

Miss L. (to Moncastle). I don't see anything else to do but 
to sue him. 

Mon. But there would be so many disagreeable features. (De 
Winks and Miss Tremwell come round the side of screen^) 

Miss L. Here he is now. We have decided to sue, Mr. De- 
Winks. 

DeW. {in doubt ). Sue ? Oh, yes. In regard to that matter 
you wrote me about 

Miss T. (aside). Oh, it was a business letter. 

Miss L. Yes : it was about that letter. I think it would be 
considered very good evidence in court. 

DeW. Do you remember whether his own name is signed to 
the paper ? 

Miss L. I don't think it was. No ; of course it wasn't. 

DeW. Of course, being a woman, and not being 'posted in 
legal matters — • 

Miss L. (sharply). Sir f do you mean to insinuate that I don't ? 

DeW. (aside). There! I've done it again. (To her.) No; 
being a woman, of course you know that in a question of law 







24 AN ENGAGING POSITION. 

a signature is sometimes necessary when there is no other testi- 
mony ? 

Miss L. 1 hadn't thought of that. I am really afraid that I 
couldn't maintain an action. 

DeW. No; of course not, of course not. (To Miss Trem- 
well.) Excuse us a moment, if we seem to talk business. 
(Leads Miss Ladner to the front of the stage, while Moncastle 
and Miss Tremwell are apparently conversing in the back of 
the stage. To Miss Ladner.) I am going to try and put mat- 
ters to rights once for all, Miss Ladner. 1 have been engaged to 
Miss Tremwell since this morning. Mr. Moncastle wants to marry 
you. 

Miss L. Why 1 

DeW. Now don't interrupt. I never made so long a speech 
before, and I don't want to break down. You know how shy 
Moncastle is. Not shy, but reserved, you know. Well, Todd and 
I were in his studio, and something was said about proposing, and 
Todd tried to help matters along, and made a regular Chinese 
puzzle of the whole thing. 

Miss L. You mean to say that Mr. Todd should have proposed 
for Mr. Moncastle? 

DeW. Yes ; rightfully he should, and then everything would 
have been all right. That is, everything to speak of. 

Miss T. (to Moncastle, at back of the room). Yes ; I am so 
happy. He was never engaged to another girl in his life. 

Mon. What? Certainly, certainly. DeWinks was no hand 
at being engaged. No; I mean he never found the right girl 
before. 

Miss L. (to DeWinks). But I don't quite understand about 
your having made an offer of marriage to Miss Golde. 

DeW. Why, that is all right. She is engaged to Todd. I 
proposed for him. Yes ; ask him if you doubt it. 

Miss L. Oh, how 1 have wronged you, Mr. DeWinks ! 

DeW. Don't mention it. And there is some hope now for 
James? 

Miss L. I suppose the verdict could be set aside, and a new 
trial given. 

DeW. (leading her to Moncastle, and placing her hand in 
the artist's). Then take her, James, and the next time find your 
tongue as well as your palate. 

Mon. I — er — say — 

DeW. Don't say a word. Just have courage, man, to pro- 
pose for yourself the next time, and not leave it to a friend. 
Come over, both of you, and use my tennis court whenever you 
want to. 









^AN ENGAGING POSITION. 



25 



(Ente? Todd and Miss Golde.) 

Todd. He's at it again. We came back too soon. 

Miss L. Don't go, Mr. Todd ; you are entirely forgiven. 

Todd. Forgiven ! Oh, if I only had an idea ! 

Miss G. (coming forward}. Thomas, stand aside and let me 
ask the meaning of this remark. 

DeW. Nothing serious. Miss Golde. We will no longer keep 
the truth from you. But for a foolish blunder of this man— how 
can I say it ? — the wrong girl would not have been proposed to, 
and you and he would have been spared all this pain. But forgive 
him, forgive him. 
(Music is heard from the other room, and all swing into a half 

circle, with DeWinks a7id Miss Tremwell in the centre.) 

Miss T. Hark! the bridal march from Lohengrin: — 

Then it is well 
That all ends merry as a marriage bell. 

Todd. A side reflection, stated at this time, 

What's now a riddle started as a rhyme. 

Miss L. Some charm of witchery is cast about my brain, 
No girl who goes a-courting, courts in vain. 

Mon. The man of good intention, but unwise, 
Is sometimes treated to a great surprise. 

Miss G. If 1 must follow in this tuneful song, 

The rights of women, often, right a wrong. 

DeW. A sum in mathematics I have done, 

The answer is that three cannot be won. 

And though the problem raised in you no doubt, 

It's taken me an hour to work it out. 

But il it served to raise an honest smile, 

Ah, well ! the task, perchance, was worth the while. 



CURTAIN. 



NEW PLAYS. 



HE AN' OTIS. 

A COMEDY IN FOUR ACTS. 

By CHARLES HENRY WELLS. 

Five male, four female characters. Scenery, four easy interiors: costumes, 
modern. This piece has been played from manuscript lor several seasons by 
amateurs with great success. It is peculiarly well suited for private perform", 
ance by the simplicity of its requirements, ami the character of its story. It is 
bright, entertaining, and vivacious, but makes no demands upon its actors thafe 
the usual experiences of young people ave not quite able to meet. Its humor is 
fresh, varied and timely, and \t<* pictures of rustic characters particularly faith- 
ful and amusing. Few pieces onVr so many good parts as this, or are as rich in 
the comedy element. Plays two hours. 

Price, 15 Cents 



SYNOPSIS. 

ACT I.— In a college room. Love and football. A woman-hater in a fix. ' 
The pigskin. The progress of the game. "S'he understands what foot-ball is.'* 
Taking a goal. Invitations. Ho ! for Perkinsville. 

ACT II. At Perkinsville. A capable woman. "Oh, Betsey, be yew in 
love?" Me an' Otis. "I'd stump a Manicure tew suit yew." A second-hand 
honeymoon. Sam and the red heifer. Otis' advice. * The two letters. An 
amiable plot A catastrophe " Heaven's to Betsey ! " 

ACT III. Sam's desperation. " I'll go an' spend that last quarter ! " Dis- 
sembling. 'I he two conspirators. A little feint. Thornton and Betty vs. Flor- 
ence and Dick. Holding the fort. A ticklish position. The broken chair. Otis 
inarms. "Git!" 

ACT IV. The Tewksburys in fashionable quarters. Sam in clover. 
" Slathers n' gobs o' ice cream." Sam's genius helps the family out. An ex- 
temporized colored man. The reception. Otis and his store clothes. " Ladies 
to the right, gentlemen to the left." The pedal extremities. 4k Time f er grub." 
Ringing up and ringing down. " Bless you, my children." 



The Lady Lawyer. 

A FARCE IN TWO SCENES. 
By F. E. HILAND. 

Author of "Rooney's Restaurant," "A Town Meeting," etc. 

Three male, two female characters, and jurymen. Scenery, unimportant; 
costumes modern and eccentric. A lively and laughable farce of the robust sort, 
chiefly appreciated by boys, touching lightly on the "new woman" and the 
servant-girl question. Excellent Irish comedy characters, b >th male and 
female. The court-room scene can be worked up to any extent with local gags 
and business, affording an excellent basis for a " mock-trial." As writteD, it is 
short and crisp, the whole piece playing not over twenty minutes. 

Price 15 Cents. 






A NEW IRISH DRAMA. 



LANTY'S LUCK; 

Or, FALSELY ACCUSED. 

A DRAMA OF IRISH LIFE IN THREE ACTS. 
By F. N. LAWRENCE. 

Five male, four female characters. Costumes, modern"; scenery, not diffi- 
cult. This is a play perfectly adapted both in sentiment and in humor to the 
tastes a,nd capacities of amateur organizations. Lanty McNally is another of 
those fascinating " ne'er-do-wells," so widely popularized by the iate Mr. Bouci- 
cault, who earn every one's sympathy without always deserving it, and his 
" luck," wbile bad enongh for a time for dramatic purposes, is finally trium- 
phant in a capital last act. The cast is small but proportionately strong in 
its individual parts. Arte is a capital soubrette character, Richard, a strong 
heavy, and Murty, Pat, and Old Meg, strong character parts. Its compact cast 
and simplicity in production lit it admirably for amateur performance. It has 
been played " on the road " by professionals for a season with good success. 
Plays a full evening. 

Price 25 cents. 



SYNOPSIS. 

Act I. —Winding yarn. The young widow. The diamond brooch. The tool 
and its handle. The runaway. Fish stories. The dove and the hawk. Re- 
pulsed. Lanty and the thimble. An Irish courtship. The stolen kiss. A 
pretty plot. The trusted messenger. The stolen jew r els. "Those diamonds 
were mine and I refuse to prosecute him ! " Hard Luck. 

Act II. —Murty and the sparklers. The Fair of Dunloe. A social outcast. 
Lanty's '* widdy." Old Meg. On the scent of the thief. The breath of shame. 
Lanty as a detective. Two kinds of love-making. ** Down in the Well." A 
false friend. " I don't want your money — it would burn the skin off me hands." 
Better Luck. 

Act III. — Old Meg again. Lanty on the trail. Playing the witch. An un- 
fair advantage. M She'll skin me alive when she finds out it's me ! " Witchcraft. 
Murty's secret. A hero in petticoats. The devil's tryst. A quarrel among 
thieves. " Curse him ! He has me in his power ! " Cornered. Murty and the 
spirits. The Scotch kiss. The jewels found at last. The tables turned. Good 
for evil. " I forgive ye — that is, for five minutes." Good Luck. 



JUST PUBLISHED, in the William Warren Edition : 

SHE STOOPS TO CONQUER. 

A Comedy in Five Acts by OLIVER GOLDSMITH. 

Fifteen male, four female characters. Printed from William Warren's 
prompt copy, by courtesy of Miss Annie Clarke. An entirely new acting edi- 
tion, giving all the familiar " gags " and " business " never before printed. 

Price 15 cents. 



Sent, postpaid, on receipt of price, by 

BAKER, 5 HAMILTON PLACE, BOSTON, MASS. 










A, W. PINERO'S LATEST PLAYS. 



The flagistrate. 

A FARCE IN THREE ACTS. 

Twelve male, four female characters. Costumes, modern; scenery, all in- 
teriors. The merits of this excellent and amusing piece, one of the most popular 
of its author's plays, are well attested by long and repeated runs in the principal 
American theatres. It is of the highest class of dramatic writing, and is uproar- 
iously funny, and at the same time unexceptionable in tone. Ii s entire suitability 
for amateur performance has been shown by hundreds of such productions from 
manuscript during the past three years. Plays two hours and a half. 

Note. — This play is sold for reading only. The acting right is reserved , and 
can be obtained only upon payment of an author's royalty of $10 for each 
performance. 

Price 50 Cents. 



Dandy Dick. 

A FARCE IN THREE ACTS. 

Seven male, four female characters. Costumes, modern ; scenery, two in- 
teriors. This very amusing piece was another success in the New York and 
Boston theatres, and has been extensively played from manuscript by amateurs, 
for whom it is in every respect suited. It provides an unusual number of capital 
character parts, is very funny, and an excellent acting piece. Plays two hours 
and a half. 

Note. — This play is sold for reading only. The acting right is reserved, and 
can only be obtained upon payment of an author's royalty of $10 for each 
performance. 

Price, 50 Cents. 



The Hobby Horse. 

A COMEDY IN THREE ACTS. 

Ten male, five female characters. Scenery, two interiors and an exterior; 
costumes, modern. This piece is best known in this country through the admir- 
able performance of Mr. John Hare, who produced it in all the principal cities. 
Its story presents a clever satire of false philanthropy, and is full of interest and 
humor. Well adapted for amateurs, by whom it has been successfully acted. 
Plays two hours and a half. 

Note. — This play is sold for reading only. The acting right is reserved, and 
can only be obtained upon payment of an author's royalty of $10 for each 
•performance. 

Price. 50 Cents. 



THE MAGISTRATE. 



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A Farce in Three Acts. By Arthur W. 
Pinkro. Twelve male, four female char- 
acters. Costumes, modern ; scenery, all 
interior. The merits of this excellent and amusing piece, one of the most popu- 
lar of its author's plays, are well attested hy long and repeated runs in the 
principal American theatres. It is of the highest class of dramatic writing, and 
is uproariously funny, and at the same time unexceptionable in tone. Its entire 
suitability for amateur performance has been shown by hundreds of such pro- 
ductions from manuscript during the past three years. Plays two hours and 
a half. (1892.) 



THE NOTORIOUS 
MRS, EBBSMITH. 



A Drama in Four Acts. By Arthur W. 
Pinero. Eight male and five female charac- 
ters ; scenery, all interiors. This is a " prob- 
lem" play contin uing the series to Avhich " The 
Profligate " and "The Second Mrs. Tanqueray" 
belong, and while strongly dramatic, and intensely interesting is not suited for 
amateur performance. It is recommended for- Reading Clubs. (1893.) 



THE PROFLIGATE. 



A Play in Four Acts. By Arthur "W. Pixe- 
RO. Seven male and five female characters. 

— ' Scenery, three interiors, rather elaborate ; 

costumes, modern. This is a piece of serious interest, powerfully dramatic in 
movement, and tragic in its event. An admirable play, but not suited for ama- 
teur performance. (1892.) 



THE SCHOOLMISTRESS. 



A Farce in Three Acts. By Arthur 
W. Pinero. ISine male," seven fe- 
male characters. Costumes, mod- 
ern ; scenery, three interiors, easily arranged. This ingenious and laughable 
farce was played by Miss Rosina Yokes during her last season in America with 
great success. Its plot is amusing, its action rapid and full of incident, its dia- 
logue brilliant, and its scheme of character especially rich in quaint and humor- 
ous types. The Hon. VereQueckett and Peggy are especially strong. The piece 
is in all respects suitable for amateurs. (1894.) 



THE SECOND 
MRS. TANQUERAY. 



A Play in Four Acts. By Arthur W. 
Ptxero. Eight male and five female char- 
acters. Costumes, modern ; scenery, three 
interiors. This well-known and powerful 
play is not v well suited for amateur per- 
formance. It is offered to Mr. Pinero's admirers among the reading public in 
answer to the demand which its wide discussion as an acted plav has created. 
(1894.) Also in Cloth, $1.00. 



SWEET LAVENDER. 



A Comedy in Three Acts. By Arthur 
W. Pinero. Seven male and four female 

1 ' ' characters. Scene, a single interior, the 

same for all three acts ; costumes, modern and fashionable. This well known 
and popular piece is admirably suited to amateur players, by whom it has been 
often given during the last few years. Its story is strongly sympathetic, and its 
comedy interest abundant and strong. (1893.) 



THE TIMES. | 



A Comedv in Four Acts. By Arthttr W. Ptxero. Six 
male and seven female characters. Scene, a single ele- 

' gant interior ; costumes, modern and fashionable. An 

entertaining piece, of strong dramatic interest and admirable satirical humor. 
(1892.) 



THE WEAKER SEX, 



A Comedy in Three Acts. By Arthur 
W. Pinero. Eight male and eight female 
characters. Costumes, modern ; scenery, 
two interiors, not difficult. This very amusing comedy was a popular feature of 
the repertoire of Mr. and Mrs. Kendal in this country. It presents a plot of 
strong dramatic interest, and its incidental satire of " Woman's Rights" em- 
ploys some admirably humorous characters, and inspires many very clever lines. 
Its leading characters are unusually even in strength and prominence, which 
makes it a very satisfactory piece for amateurs. (1894.) 



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LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 



NEW OPERETTAS FOR 



INI 




EDITH'S DREAM. 

&n ©peretta for ©fjttoretu 

Words by MARGARET FEZANDIE and EDGAR MORETTE, 
Music by EUGENE FEZANDIE, Jr. 



Eleven characters, girls and boys, or all girls, as preferred ; ten or more addi- 
tional for chorus. Scenery unnecessary; costumes, pretty and fanciful, hut 
easily arranged at home. This admirable little piece is printed complete with 
music. It is very tuneful and gracefully imagined, and is strongly recommended 
for private theatricals or for schools. It is particularly well suited for the latter 
use, as it deals whimsically with the question of youthful study, inculcating, 
however, an excellent moral. 



Price 



35 cents. 



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9 



ODD OPERASHEVENTIDE. 

A Collection of Short and Simple Musical 
Entertainments for Children. 

By MRS. G. N. BORDMAN, 



1 

I 

% 



This collection provides a simple operetta, a fairy opera, a picturesque motion 
song, a quaint musical pantomime, a pretty musical sketch, and two original 
humorous recitations for children, complete, with all the music, and full instruc- 
tions for performance. The music is tuneful and simple, and is specially written 
with the tastes and limitations of children in view. The solos are easily learned 
and sung, and all the choruses are written for voices in unison. The collection 
is strongly recommended for its simplicity and perfect practicability. Neither 
stage nor scenery is demanded, nor any other requirements that cannot be met 
without trouble by the equipment of the ordinary hall or church vestry, and th« 
zeal of the most economical committee of arrangements. 

Price 50 cents. 

CONTENTS. 



A Glimpse of the Brownies. A 

Musical Sketch for Children. Any 
number of boys. 

Market Day. An Operetta for Young 
People, Seven speaking parts and 
chorus. 

Queen Flora's Day Dream. An 

Operetta for Children. Six speak- 
ing parts and chorus. 



The Boating Partv. A Musical 
Sketch for Little Children. Thirty 
boys and girls. 

Six Little Grandmas. A Musical 
Pantomime for very Little Children. 
Six very little girls. 

Jimmy Crow. A Recitation for a 
Little Girl. 

A House in the Moon. A Recita- 
tion for a Child. 



I 

si> 



017 400 316 6 • 



